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What Am I, a Deer? by Polly Barton - Book Review
PART ONE
I’m going to set up this book review into two parts. Part One is a spoiler free review, more like short blurb plus overall feelings. Part Two is the review with spoilers. This is because for the most part, I can not for the life of me talk about this book without going into details that can be clearly classified as spoilers. I do not like spoilers at all, in any shape or form. To me even when people say, that when they mention something basic about a book is not an actual spoiler, to me, it mostly still feels like exactly that. So, I usually panic-click, and physically throwing my device away, almost. I’m not there, yet. But who knows, we are starting off to a hard year anyway. You just never know. So I thought I just put this out here as a disclaimer before going in.
If you don’t like overall feelings and general discussions about books, because you feel like it influences the way you would read a book, and most importantly, it would change your expectations towards a literary work… First of all… I hundred percent feel you and I’m with you in that. Second of all, maybe check out the official short blurb and decide based upon that. And Happy Reading!
General Book Info about What Am I, a Deer?
author: Polly Barton, literary translator from the Japanese to English.
Her other works as a writer includes: Fifty Sounds*, and Porn: An Oral History*, both non-fiction.
Translated works:
Spring Garden* by Tomoka Shibasaki, There is No Such Thing as an Easy Job* by Kikuko Tsumura
So We Look to the Sky* by Misumi Kubo, Where the Wild Ladies Are* by Aoko Matsuda,
Friendship for Grown-Ups* by Naocola Yamazaki, Mikumari* by Misumi Kubo,
Butter* by Asako Yuzuki, Mild Vertigo* by Mieko Kanai,
Hunchback* by Saou Ichikawa, The Woman Dies* by Aoko Matsuda,
Hooked* by Asako Yuzuki and now her debut novel: What Am I, a Deer?*
publisher: Fitzcarraldo Editions (UK), you can read a preview on their website if you want to get a feel for the prose!
page numbers: 248 pages ( I have received an ARC with 240 pages)
genre and other tags: literary & modern fiction, philosophy, self-journey, queer
publication date: 9th of April, 2026
short blurb: A young woman ends up in Frankfurt as she is working for a major video game company as a translator from the Japanese to English. It is her story, her journey, that we follow through from elementary school to middle school, and to her young adulthood. Through her relationships with karaoke, language, translation, sexuality and identity, and why it matters so much to her. We meet people in her life and a mysterious umbrella man along the way, who happens to give back her umbrella after a fateful meeting on the morning tram.
Overall Feelings, Spoiler Free
What did What Am I a Deer? Gave to Me as a Reader?
I used to have a certain resentment towards books and novels in general that had to do with any kind of self-exploratory journey. Simply, because many years of my life just flew by me in a haze. Or worse, got frozen in time and motion. Therefore, I was and I am, unable to reach back to that version of me and help her out. And I deeply wish I could.
I wish I could just go back, make her sit down, gave a pen and a notebook to her and just point and say: ‘Write it down.’ that’s it. That’s all. I think I would be in a better space now if I would have done that.
I would say that this is the main message that I’ve taken away from reading What Am I, a Deer? by Polly Barton. My inability to reconcile with a certain version of myself that existed in the past. And it’s still there. Stuck. But, I was able to visit her and that is a big thing.
Philosophical Journey with a Plot
The novel dwells into philosophy in many different areas so if that is your thing, I can highly recommend this book. Although, there are mostly inner monologues and thought experiments and sometimes even tiny essays about certain topics, feelings, etc. the book has a plot. Not just that but an end as well, that we are marching towards page by page.
Even though it is a small book it has the potential to slow you down. Especially, if you are someone who likes to highlight and write marginalia. To engage with the text on a deeper level.
What Am I, a Deer? is a perfect food-for-thought novel, something that will stay with you longer than you think. Especially, if you are willing to look inward and say hello to your own thoughts, fears and shames and joys and wants.
Recommend a Reader
I would also say it is a nice book to read when you feel like you are quite stagnant in your life, or when you feel like that everyone has it figured it out around you and you are just somewhere else. Mentally, Physically, Coordinatically. I’m sure that last word doesn’t exist.
Also a very nice late autumn to late winter read. It also matches the vibes of a busy area, like a cafe, or a train or a table of a big communal area. I don’t know why but I think this is one of those companion books that you can just take with you and get lost in the middle of the cacophony of people and movements around you.
Another recommendation would be for readers that are moving countries, or living in a different country to their own. I could definitely resonate with that part.
Oh and if you like romance novels with substance, I mean, heavy on the literary part, I think this book is also a good candidate for that. High brow romance without spice? That sounds exciting to me.
What's next:
Part 2 with the spoiler review about What Am I, a Deer?, and I also need to come back with my Quarterly Wrap-Ups for October, November and December of 2025. Which will include all the books I have read over the winter months last year.
I am also putting new lists up to my virtual bookshop, could be interesting for someone who are looking for new books or just for general recommendations.
And I have a lot of ideas about what to write for the upcoming weeks, months even. Keep your eyes peeled for the main page, as the current reads are always changing, and I always have some cool info there.
I have also made a little Throne Wishlist as an alternative way of supporting this website. Any gifted book will be reviewed and will have a shout out, unless the person who gifts it choose to be anonymous.
ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE MY OWN
If you like my work please consider supporting my page by buying me a cup of coffee or buying a book through my affiliate links. I also have a bookshop.org UK where you can find even more books I recommend. It would mean a tremendous lot because this way I can make sure that I can keep my website safe, up and running. I am posting new reviews every weekend. Alternatively, if you wish to gift a book rather than any of the above, check out my Throne Wishlist, where I collect all the books that I would love to read.
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